I knew for a certainty that I was going to hate this. I loathed the first one. But, I was prodded into watching it because I’m possibly going to write/direct a zom-com, and the Zombieland franchise is the top zom-com happening at the moment. So, it was literally peer-pressure that foisted this on me.
For starters, one of the last people I want to watch is Jesse Eisenberg, and his tedious voice overs stretch through most of the movies. It’s torturous. Even Woody Harrelson, who at least made an effort previously, can barely be said to be acting at all this time around.
Hollywood revels in stupidity, and it will drown its audience in cringe-worthy mindlessness and then pat itself on the back for such genius. It’s insulting. Pain even through the opening credit sequence, and the affronts don’t end there.
Now, I don’t think these are bad people. They’re not dictators ordering torture, but neither are they making the world a better place with this crap. The writing is a starting point for what’s wrong with these mainstream popcorn movies. Other than the totally contrived nature of everything–plausibility is so last millennium–the characters are just assholes, reflections of the people writing them. Probably tiny-dick white boys who want to shoot the big guns. That’s all they’re about. Oh, they’re so tough and edgy.
The audience should be allowed to vomit on them to show disapproval. Perhaps a Thunderdome scenario, where Hollywood screenwriters are caged in the center of the theater, and the audience can throw feces and urine at them whenever they feel insulted by the dreck on the screen.
Just tossing ideas out there to make the world a better place. They’d write some less-stupid shit, huh?